ArtisticallyChill

I used to say that I was 21 with 12 years experience. I barely get carded nowadays and my hair is looking more and more salt and peppered in between haircuts. Could it be because Serena is getting me to eat better? More veggies, less meat? I don’t exercise as regularly but my work at the garage usually has me working up a good sweat by the time I punch out. I’m a little less cynical and a bit more positive because of Serena’s infinite optimism. I still stay up late because there isn’t enough time in the day for ‘me time’. I read, blog, play videogames til 2AM and manage to get by on 5-6 hours of sleep. I’m 34, and I just don’t ‘feel old’.

I see everyone around me: family, friends, and old acquaintances moving forward in their lives in ways I would never had thought possible. I often wonder when will I reach milestones such as marriage, raising a family of 4 kids with pets, and owning house in the suburbs. Serena and I often talk about it as if it is inevitable. We’ve even got our kids’ names all picked out. But I just don’t see it in the immediate future. Could I be afraid of change? Afraid to ‘grow up’ or ‘act my age’ as one might say living up to everyone else’s expectations but my own?

But why change or rush to reach such milestones, when I am happy right now? I have no complaints or regrets that weigh on my shoulders no longer than than a good night’s sleep. I have down so much and continue to do so much despite what others think they see when they see me. I have an amazing girlfriend and have a loving relationship others may find envious. We are, as I’ve always said, practically married. It’s just not official yet under State law or religious deity as society deems ‘proper’.

And I know Serena is happy. She tells me everyday with the little kisses she gives me, the hugs we share when we greet each other after work, and with the whispers of ‘I love you.’ as we cuddle on the couch. And she may not sense it all the time, but I love her a thousand fold!

So now that I’m 24 with 10 years experience, what have I got to look forward to? Another year of doing whatever it is I damn well please with very little regard to what others think. Because let’s face it, those people rarely do.

Aimin’ to misbehave… always.

~ Jeff